Forgotten Portrait. Digital drawing, PVC free plot cut vinyl, 168 cm x 168 cm, 2020.
Shown as installed at the Marilyn I. Walker School of Fine and Performing Arts, Brock University, St. Catharines ON, Canada, March 2020. Also gifted to, and installed at the School of Journalism, Carleton University, March 2023.
This drawing-based installation explores the intersecting themes of lost memory, trauma, and institutions. As I reflect upon a particular person from my past, I realized I could not remember their face, yet I could recall every detail of their hair style. I could also recall their perfect blouse, their extras set of shoes tucked neatly away, but I could not remember their face. An absent face is an interesting problem to have if you are making a portrait, so I set out to create their portrait, with nothing but their immaculate hairstyle and missing face. When I completed the drawing, I was struck by how awful the lines were, as my hands were shaking as I drew. Then I realized these were in fact interesting lines, because, while they were far from a perfect representation, they conveyed the trauma in my body conjured in trying to portray this painful character in my life. The drawing marks carry my whole body, my whole being that is at stake in this act of mark making. As a document of trauma, a trauma housed and expressed through my body, this drawing is the height, the scale of my own body. As I grappled with art mediums, I recognized that vinyl signage was the perfect medium, as it is the voice of institutional authority. The medium of vinyl signage performs a seamless invisible authority, one that interpolates us to its bidding. We don’t question institutional vinyl text imperatives. Like the “THANK YOU” embossed in a McDonalds garbage can flap, it presupposes our obedience. I like to give this work away, to install this work in institutions. Installing the exacting lines takes a great deal of attention and care. Through installing this work, I transform trauma into a gift for a community of care. This resulting image reminds those who transit its hallways that a great deal of care is needed when we have institutional power over those delicate folks that surround us.
This work was a jumping off point, initiating a body of work about the “Canadian Baby Scoop Adoption Era” which took place from 1945 to 1985. During this era, 450,000 babies were adopted from their birth parents to their adoptive parents. This artwork does not address the 1960s Indigenous Scoop. As a survivor of the Baby Scoop Era, I have been making trauma informed work about my experiences. Other artworks from this body of work includes a book The Dark Redacted (Small Walker Press, 2020), a print installation, 36 unringing phones (Gallery 101, Ottawa, 2023), and e-book 36 unringing phones (forthcoming), and a single channel video invisible hippo (in progress).
These artworks are funded by Brock University’s Humanities Research Institute grant, Office of Research Services, the Walker Cultural Leader Series, and the Dean’s Discretionary Fund. A HUGE thank you to the Ontario Arts Council for supporting the forthcoming video invisible hippo!!! I am honoured, thrilled, and humbled by their support of this challenging work.
We would like to acknowledge funding support from the Ontario Arts Council, an agency of the Government of Ontario.
